“You know, we [abuse victims] make people that are having a wonderful, ‘no worries’ life, uncomfortable.” [Teresa, abuse survivor]
James 1:27 Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.
For some reason, the Apostle James was faced with an infestation of false religion parading as Christianity. It was faith without works. Now, we all as Christians should know that the righteousness by which we are righteous before God is NOT of our own creation. We do not work our way into heaven. Oh, we are indeed made righteous before God by works, but those works are not ours. They are the works of the Lord Jesus Christ in our behalf. HE obeyed God’s Law perfectly. HE took our sin upon Himself on the cross. So it is an alien righteousness, not of our own making, that is credited to our account when we come to genuine faith in Christ as our only Lord and Savior.
However, where there is authentic faith, wherever a heart has been re-made by Christ, there will also be the fruit of good works. We can’t boast about those even, they are God’s creation (Ephesians 2:8-10). But they will be there. Christians love one another with the love of Christ. James says that if a man claims to have faith (claims to be a Christian) but his life is devoid of works, he is liar. That man’s faith is a dead faith. Counterfeit. We are “justified” by our works in that our works, the fruit of the Holy Spirit, justify that our claim to faith in Christ is genuine.
The evil of abuse brings much of this into clarity. First, the abuser who claims to be a Christian is exposed by his wicked ways. He is not a Christian. A person cannot be an abuser by nature and be a Christian. It is impossible. Second, the existence of abuse exposes whether or not WE are Christians. By “we,” I mean the church. Other people who profess to be Christians. James says that pure, undefiled religion is characterized by visiting orphans and widows in their affliction (and by not being conformed to this evil world).
As Teresa’s quote (above) so accurately notes, victims of abuse make comfortable people uncomfortable. Here comes this mother and her children. They have, well, problems. Big problems. The car is broken down and no one to fix it. The kids often seem to have relational problems. Mom is stressed. Mom isn’t fun to talk to because her children and the threats of her abuser are always on her mind. She is in need. In other words, what you’ve got right in front of you is a widow and orphans. And if you step in to help her, it is going to cost you. Big time. Financially. Emotionally. You might get into some danger because her abuser just ain’t gonna like it at all. You might be accused of breaking up a marriage if you don’t try to talk her into going back to the guy and trying harder. She rocks your comfy boat. And most people, even most professing Christians, would rather see her go find another church.
I bet the Jewish man who was beaten and robbed was really glad that the Good Samaritan came along. That Samaritan was radical. He took radical action. He stopped what he was doing and put his plans and comfort on hold. He put his money where is mouth was. He loved that Jew and took care of him over the long haul.
The first two religious types that came by, well, they just couldn’t be bothered. “It’s a tough world out there, you know, but we can’t be expected to fix everything. Why, if you worry about all of that stuff, you will go crazy.”
Jesus doesn’t expect us to worry about and fix “all” of that stuff. But He does expect us – He commands us – to worry about and do what we can to fix the plight of the widow and orphan He places in our path. He makes us uncomfortable. And He requires us to take action.
James 2:14-17, What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him? (15) If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, (16) and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? (17) So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.
Yes. Same as “Christians” who say “I’ll pray for you and your children” while actively helping the abuser commit abuse and/or hide the abuse.
Prayer without action for abuse victims is a facetious insult.
I don’t take “I’ll pray for you as an insult.” Those that state this and claim to be a Christian.. don’t care. Faith without action is dead. Yes! I agree —— You know, we [abuse victims] make people that are having a wonderful, ‘no worries’ life, uncomfortable.” Why? Could it be that their life is too comfortable to step out and be uncomfortable? Faith without action is dead.
James 2:14-36
Rae Radika ________________________________
Bad teachings and ignorance as well as the subscription to just world fallacy. People figure she must have done something to deserve it. She must be mentally ill. She must have known he was an abuser but still married him anyways and thus deserves to lie down in the bed she made.
Other women protect themselves from feelings of threat or insecurity by victim-blaming her and they scrutinize the woman so as to distinguish themselves as different from her, thus, they reassure themselves, that her fate won’t become their own. She must not have been attentive enough to her husband or kept herself attractive enough to keep his eye or cooked tasty dinners or cleaned the house well enough.
But indeed, the final self-protection is to turn a blind eye. To put it out of mind. To not take on the stress, the financial strain and the emotional toll it will surely take to become involved and to befriend her, support her, and help her out. People don’t want to jeopardize their peace or comfort.
Much the same as what happens in childhood. Bullies and their enablers will select a target and others will turn away or be silent in fear of becoming a target themselves and sharing in the victim’s pain or daily humiliations, or daily terror of possibly being beaten up.
Finally, I think the real stigma associated with being a divorced or separated woman is common in the church. People see the woman as being a “bad woman” or failing her responsibility to make her marriage work or otherwise being an extremely bad woman and divorcing or separating willy-nilly for petty reasons or “gold-digging” reasons or “wanting to run around with other men”. Plus, the abusers usually are secretly smearing the target the entire time there is a relationship so people are groomed into viewing her badly all along.