We Should be Ashamed When we Sin – But RASNs have no shame

Though they know God’s righteous decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them. (Romans 1:32)

I no doubt have written in the past about this subject: shame. But it is one of those topics which just keeps cropping up when we have interactions with toxic people. RASNs (revilers, abusers, sociopaths, narcissists) have no shame. I suppose this is intertwined with their lack of conscience – with just a bit different nuance.

When I sin, I am rightly ashamed of what I did or failed to do. That shame drives me to confess my sin both to the Lord and to whomever I wronged.

But RASNs are shameless. That is why they will march right up to the person they wronged or to someone else who witnessed their sin, and act as if nothing wrong ever happened. Smile on their face. Talking to you as if its just another day and any history of wrongdoing is just that…history….gone….erased. You see it in what we call the cycle of abuse in domestic abuse scenarios.

I have had these kind march right up to me – professing Christians mind you – and be all bubbly and palsy walsy. In one case a woman matter-of-factly told me that she couldn’t come to church at the present because she was “in a relationship.” I pressed her and it turned out that the guy living next door to her (an out and out pagan) had moved in with her and they were sleeping together. All of this she told me and by her shameless tone I could tell that she expected me to just say something like, “well, we all sin and Jesus forgives…”.  Of course I did nothing of the kind and her reaction was one of anger at me. “Just throw me out of the church! I know you want to anyway!”  Now it was my fault. It’s always YOUR fault with these kind, you know.

Here this lady was, a professing Christian and church member, telling me her pastor in a matter of fact, shameless tone that she was fornicating. No shame, you see.

A full-blown narcissist I once knew – also a professing Christian – exploded in anger at work in front of fellow employees, using foul language as well. No apologies. No asking for forgiveness. He went on with his day as if nothing had happened. No shame.

Their end is destruction, their god is their belly, and they glory in their shame, with minds set on earthly things.
(Philippians 3:19)


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