Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness. Whoever loves his brother abides in the light, and in him there is no cause for stumbling. (1 John 2:9-10 ESV)
Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator. (Colossians 3:9-10)
God’s Word repeatedly instructs (commands) Christians to embrace truth and reject falsehood. Walking in the light of Christ’s truth is the only consistent manner of living for a Christian. Lies characterize the kingdom of darkness whose prince is called the father of lies (John 8). It was by this serpent’s lie that sin and death came into the world (“oh no, you won’t die. In fact, you will be like God”).
The Christian’s mind is being renewed: progressively set free from that which is false and led into life-giving, freeing truth. The gospel by which we are saved and which we proclaim is often called “the Word of Truth” in Scripture. We are to speak truth to one another and give up lying. Abuse victims know the power and freedom of truth as they experience its destruction of the lies they have so long believed by which they were held in bondage.
Therefore, let me ask all of those pastors, theologians, church elders, and Christians in general – “How can you send a victim of abuse back to her abuser? How can you tell her to go back and do a better job of submitting to him? How can you buy into his supposed ‘repentance’? How, in other words, can you maintain that light and darkness can co-habitate. How can truth and falsehood live under one roof?” In light of the teaching of God’s Word, I think those are pretty good questions!
Think about it. Living with an abuser means living in darkness and living with a lie. Anyone who knows anything much at all about abuse surely must confess this to be true. Lies, lies and more lies. Now, it is the Christian’s calling to expose those lies, not to be taken captive by them. Therefore, in dealing with her abuser, the victim’s role will be to call him/her out on deception. Quite often though, this cannot be done safely. Darkness doesn’t like light very much. Truth just can’t live in harmony with a lie. And yet, isn’t that exactly what so many people are telling victims they need to do? Do their best to be at peace with lies? That sounds a whole lot to me like something we call enablement, and it is my understanding that enabling evil isn’t really a very good thing.
The fact of the entire matter is simply this: when a husband or wife determines that they are going to walk/live in darkness and lies, then they have chosen to travel a different road than their spouse who is choosing the narrow road of light and truth. They have created a fork in the road. Forks divide. And it is the one who chooses the evil way who has effected the division. The evil road, you see, the way of the lie, is the path that is the detour. Not the other way round.
If then the Word of God calls Christians to put away falsehood, to cease lying to others, to walk in the light of truth, why is it that we would ever tell them to remain bound to someone who is practicing just the opposite and demanding that they do the same? We tell people that Christians must not be bound together with evil. That we are to come out from among evil and be separate from it.
Why is it then that abuse victims are an exception?
3 thoughts on “Light and Darkness Cannot Live Together”
When one exposes the evil of the abuser, she will so clearly see the reality of Christ’s words about the NARROW (unpopular and often (lonely) and STRAIT (difficult) road that a TRUE Christian walks on. Though that narrow road thankfully leads to life and eternity with Jesus, on earth it is still a hard road, no matter what the circumstances are. And exposing an abuser’s evil will smack the true Christian exposer right in the face with just how WIDE, how densely populated and popular the road that leads to death and destruction really is. Most all the people she thought she knew to be “Christians”-church people, “Christian” relatives and friends..will expose themselves! Most will choose to follow that wide path right alongside the abuser. Everyone she thought was on the “Christian narrow path” with her will be exposed by their responses to the evil of abuse. Too, too many side with the evil abuser, with lies, with darkness, with the enemy of our souls who wants to destroy us. They enable and are willing allies with not only the abuser and evil, but also satan who so easily is able to use them as his agents. It’s true that light simply cannot live with darkness. We victims of abuse tried so hard to make that happen out of our misguided wishful thinking. But the evidence is in the fruit. Abusers are evil and darkness personified. The behaviors of all those others, when the evil is exposed, shows their darkness. Abandonment, shunning, smear campaigns, targeted harm…aimed at the victim to shut her up and try to keep the “wolves in sheep’s clothing act” intact for the abuser. And that act goes on and on and all those counterfeit christian abuse enablers and apologists are happy to play along and stay complicit with evil and satan. Despite their knowing the truth-that the abuse is real and true. That it is a devastating, destructive, soul-crushing reality for the victim who is a true child of God. They show their partiality towards evil. They show no compassion or comfort, no heart of Jesus, no obedience to God, for the suffering victim. Where will those who choose to be complicit in known evil all run to when the One Who judges all hearts, every word and act done on earth, calls them to account? When He👆🏽recounts in front of us-God’s true children and victims of the evil of abuse-their complicit evil? And when the Holy Lion of Judah tells them harshly in His Holy Wrath to “Depart from Me!” for eternity and be cast into the fire with all the other evildoers and wolves? Nowhere to run and hide. No “gang of allies in evil” to cover up and lie and lock arms with them. Laid bare standing alone before the King of Kings and the world. This is my confidence and comfort.
Come quickly, Lord Jesus!
Thank you Z for reminding me of the light at the end of the tunnel. To know my abuser will be held accountable in front of the whole world, by my Lord of Lords and King of Kings keeps my going. I just get so very weary and tired at times. I just want to be free!!!!!
Thank you so much for this post, it came at the exact moment I desperately needed it, as did Z’s comment, as I just had an ongoing plot against me, one filled with horrible lies and deceptions finally exposed and brought to fruition this past weekend. I had known about it through others who couldn’t keep the secret, but the full weight of the wolf packs deceitfulness still took its toll.
So reading this was a very comforting validation for standing in the truth and really seeing the abusers for what they are.
Literally just before reading this, being in a very sad and almost defeated state, I didn’t think that there was anything that could help to lift me out of it, it was all so overwhelming…but then I read this post and felt God’s love permeate my heart, completely felt His presence, felt that He truly saw what was going on and that He understood the destruction and lies that we’re taking place all around me, and all perpetrated by the wolves who call themselves Christians.
So again, thank you Pastor Crippen and Z, for following God’s leading and sharing your hearts and thoughts…you cleared a path for me on the narrow road so I could keep walking forward in truth with my head up and with a strengthened faith.